To Cry or Not to Cry it Out?

Everyone needs sleep. How can you get it when your baby wakes all throughout the night? What works for one mother or baby doesn't necessarily work for another. It is a matter of trial and error, learning about your child, and who you are as a parent. The best bit of advice I received, that I then applied to the topic of sleep, was you don't need to change anything if it is working and if it's not working, it's time to try something new. Seems simple enough…

In my weekly PEPS group, we would name a high and low of our week. My low invariably revolved around lack of sleep. One mom in the group was doing the cry it out method with her baby. She said it was awful but they were seeing progress and sticking to it. I assumed everyone else was doing okay because they didn't talk about it much - maybe they had good sleepers or had found an effective method...

I seemed incapable of letting my baby cry - ever. Sure, if I had to go to the bathroom or put on my shoes I could withstand a couple minutes of crying but as a practice - no. The sound of my child crying pierced a depth of my being I did not previously know existed. My breast was a pacifier and I could not be more grateful.

When it came to nighttime sleep, I would eventually get to a point where things felt like they weren't working. Time to try something new! I knew I wasn't going to let my baby cry. I did try a couple of times but I would only last a few minutes before swooping in, baby to chest, boob to mouth.

The book/ method that resonated with me most was the no cry sleep solution. I would try out different techniques and routines. It was hard to discern any real progress. I think I lacked the needed energy to sustain any given routine to ultimately succeed. I spent so many nights sitting at the crib with my hand on Niley, closing my eyes, trying to get rest in any form possible.

I thought about hiring a sleep doula. I questioned if I should have my husband help more. But I was the one with the majestic pacifier that could instantly silence the crying. I would get through it. Night after night after night.

My intention for the blogging portion of the Postpartum Experience Project is to focus solely on the postpartum period of my first child - my metamorphosis into motherhood. But would I end up doing the same thing all over again with the birth of my second child..? Yes and no. l would continue with the no crying at any cost. But I would not be sitting up beside a crib all night either. This time I would get as much sleep as I possibly could. He did not sleep in a crib. He acquired my old queen size bed (placed directly on the floor) where I would lay with him until he was asleep and come back in at night when he woke. It may not seem ideal, but for me it worked and I wasn't about to change it.