This Is Your Show.

The cool thing about parenting is that you get to decide how you want to parent. This is your show. From the minute the news gets out about a new baby on the way, you are bombarded with all sorts of opinions, suggestions, and let's be honest, criticism.

I remember my mom being in shock by the fact that I wasn't going to paint the baby's room. In her mind, this is what people do. It's in the movies after all. To me, the room was fine as it was, so why would I change it? The thought of paint smell in my baby's room was more of a concern to me than finding the perfect hue.

We decided not to find out the gender of our baby. What color outfit to buy for the baby, they'd ask?! Gender neutral suits us well as a family or let's dress our baby boy in hot pink or a dress for that matter. Breaking free from cultural constructs sounds pretty rad. See, I get to create my parenting story.

Aside from all the things you don't want to hear, there are all the things you are looking to find out, understand, embody. And oh man can it be overwhelming. Here's my bit of unsolicited advice. Yes, research what you must but away from all the chatter, sit and sift with breath: you will find who you are as a parent and what practices suit you best. Your truth is inside you. You just sometimes have to be still enough to hear it.

Here is something I have learned through practice. If you are aligned in your head and your heart with what technique you are using, you will have greater success. As an example, if I believe that properly swaddling my baby will calm their nervous system and I swaddle and rock and sing, trusting and believing in what I am doing, I will likely end up with a sweet sleeping baby. If I swaddle my baby because someone told me it is good to do, but my heart sees the swaddle as a straight jacket - we both may never stop crying.

Parenting as a team, there are conversations to be had and compromises to be made, as there are two heads and two hearts to the equation. Oh darn, see, even I can't stop giving advice in this piece. Take what you will to heart and boot the rest to the moon. As a couple parenting, it is okay and essential to have different ways of doing things. Your child's relationship with both of you is unique and to have your individual routines and techniques, and accept those of your partner's, will help you ground and evolve as parents.

You decide who you are as a parent and how you will parent your child. So when you walk into your aunt's house and she instantly starts telling you that you need to hire some help and you forcefully announce, "I'll do what I want Aunt Jude", there's truth in that. You create your own parenting story. And like all aspects of life, it will change, expand, and evolve. It is not going to be simple or easy but it is yours.